Angry was the hooman after I left
A choice cut dead mouse on his bed
He ran to the bathroom in a haste
A priceless rodent went to waste
Tired from puking first thing in the morn
He prepped my breakfast weary and drawn
Sitting on the countertop lazy and bored
Tipped his coffee mug onto the floor
Avoiding the puddle walking on tiptoes
Watched him slip and fall on his all fours
While he struggled to get on his feet
Smirked in victory and meowed for a treat
While the poor hooman’s out of the house
Ransacked the whole place looking for that mouse
Later used the litter box and kicked out all dirt
Then had a quick nap on the hooman’s new shirt
Dusk was here when the hooman came home
Sat on a chair and started tapping his phone
Stared into empty space with eyes wide and round
That freaked out the hooman without any doubt
No matter what you might think of me
I love my hooman so, you see
‘Cause he is my slave, my servant, my hand
Making my life so pampered and grand